jennifer-roberts *The name has been changed to protect the identity of the student.
The day before Prince William County Schools let out for the winter break, I was in conversation with a principal concerning a student who had been suspended from his school. As I shared my thoughts on the overarching causes and school conditions that impacted the student’s choices that led to the suspension, the principal countered with (I am paraphrasing), “We have guidance counselors. There is no report of Keith* ever meeting with a guidance counselor about any concerns he may have had.”
I responded, “Why would Keith initiate a meeting with a stranger about issues that he may have been experiencing, with someone with whom he had no prior relationship and didn’t know existed?”
A few weeks before her son’s suspension, Keith’s mother had surveyed her son using the, Student Experience Evaluation (S.E.E.), because she wanted to better understand from his vantage point, the daily experience that he was having at school. One of the questions that the survey asked was, “What is the name of your guidance counselor? Her son had written the name of a guidance counselor who worked at the school but that person was not his counselor.
Prior to her son being suspended, Keith’s mother met with her son’s guidance counselor, whom she had never met, to discuss ways that the guidance counselor could potentially engage her son and help him to have a better experience at school. When Keith’s mother asked the guidance counselor if she knew her son, the counselor’s answer was, “No.” When Keith’s mother shared with the guidance counselor that her son had no idea who she was and asked how he was supposed to know her, the guidance counselor responded, “The homeroom teachers gave a PowerPoint presentation at the beginning of the school year.”
During the meeting, Keith’s mother shared insights about her son and some of the struggles that her son had experienced as well as some ideas and community resources that would not only benefit her son but that could benefit other students in the school. The guidance counselor committed to meeting with her son to get to know him and propose some leadership opportunities that might help him to have a better experience. The guidance counselor never met with Keith and no progress was made by the guidance counselor to pursue the community engagement opportunities that his mother had shared.
Earlier this school year, I was at a meeting with members of our Prince William County School community. One of the points that was raised was that the guidance counselors at one district high school had at least 500 students on their case load in addition to whatever other duties they were expected to fulfill. All I could say was, “Wow.” This is unacceptable. I understand that that is the current reality but in what universe is this effective for anyone? In what way is this helping students? This model simply checks a box that says, “We have counselors in the building.” I am in no way minimizing the work of guidance counselors as it is indeed important and necessary, but I am questioning the efficacy of what we are doing right now and how we are measuring the impact of guidance counselors on our students lives.
My daughter started high school in the fall of 2020 virtually. Most educators were doing their best that year to survive in unchartered, educational waters and I don’t remember there being any proactive or consistent outreach by her school counselor. As a sophomore, my daughter returned to in-person learning and there still was no proactive outreach or consistent engagement by her school counselor. At back-to-school night, I made sure that we visited her school counselor in person so that the counselor could at least see my daughter’s face. Throughout her sophomore year, I ensured that my daughter met with her counselor to discuss her postgraduate plans with the hope that the counselor would begin to build a relationship with her, dialogue more with her regularly and actively seek opportunities to her reach her personal goals. This did not happen. While my daughter’s counselor was always cordial and responded to our initiation of interactions, she never sought out my daughter to nurture a relationship with her. What is the impact of this lack of meaningful engagement?
If I was only present to feed my children, provide them with shelter, clothe them and transport them to and from school, our relationship would never have flourished or deepened because those are transactional tasks. Are they necessary, “Yes,” but they do not build strong relationships, “No?” Those interactions do not communicate to my children that I love them and am actively present as a positive part of their lives. Transactional meetings are not enough. Our students need real relationships with people whom they can trust.
An effective guidance counselor must be proactive in building relationships with his students and their families, value the cultural capital that they bring and invest time in understanding who they are and who they are working to become. An effective guidance counselor listens, asks questions and proactively looks for resources to support his students. An effective guidance counselor is known by his students and has a reputation for advocating for them.
Both of my students attended elementary school in Prince William County and had an extraordinary guidance counselor. She was clearly operating in her gifting not only as a counselor but as a human being. She was consistently present in both of my children’s lives not only when they had a conflict but as a staple of their educational and personal experiences. She always led with love and prioritized building healthy relationships with the students and their families and making sure that her students knew how much she treasured them as individuals and as members of the school community. She often referred to our school community as “family” and she showed up every day as an invested family member. She attended our children’s baptisms and months later, took it upon herself to create a loving experience at school for them to grieve the loss of their beloved grandfather when he passed away in 2016.
This dear woman understood that to best serve my children and hundreds of others in her care, she had to first love them. This community gem understood and carried out the county’s commitment of family and community engagement and sought opportunities to strengthen the partnership between home and school, always inviting family members to participate as partners. When my mother-in-love and I co-founded the school’s Global Studies Program, this counselor volunteered to serve as the faculty sponsor and was dedicated to the vision of exposing our students to global, cultural experiences. Everything she did for our school community, from hosting students at lunch in her office to coordinating Veteran’s Day programs to honoring our school’s military families, she did from her heart and my children are more whole human beings for having shared time and space with her. This is the profound impact of an effective guidance counselor.
We, as Prince William County school parents must understand and value the work of our guidance counselors and the positive impact that they can have on our student’s experiences. We must educate ourselves on their role in our student’s schools. We must also advocate and hold political and educational leaders accountable for ensuring that guidance counselors have the resources necessary to perform their duties at a high level so that our children benefit.
We must also have honest and courageous conversations about the people in Prince William County who are guidance counselors and if they indeed have the interest and capacity to connect with, value and positively impact all of the children entrusted to them.
For instance, a 46-year-old White counselor of either gender, who has no or very limited personal experience with Black people may not be able to effectively counsel a 15-year- old Black young lady who aspires to attend a historically black college or university and pledge the same sorority as her mother. A 17-year-old Black young man may not feel comfortable sharing with his White female counselor that he feels like his White, female math teacher targets him for reasons that he cannot pinpoint.
These are very real conversations that we need to be having in our schools and in our homes on an ongoing basis. Our children’s wellness depends on us building strong relationships with them at home, understanding, examining and being a part of their experiences at school, asking potentially uncomfortable questions of them and their educators, partnering with educational leaders and holding them accountable. There is too much at stake for us to accept that there are guidance counselors in the building. That’s not good enough.
