jennifer-roberts To the uninformed eye, Will Smith slapping Chris Rock at last night’s Academy Awards Ceremony may have looked like a violent overaction to a distasteful joke made by a comedian. But to someone who understands trauma and someone who has read Will Smith’s autobiography, “Will,” it was clearly a visceral response to “triggered trauma.”
Will Smith is a beloved American actor, musician and producer with dozens of accolades to his name. He is married to Jada Pinkett-Smith and they are the parents of three children including a son from Will’s previous marriage. Smith has set music records and broken box office records. And last night, he was just minutes away from accepting the highest achievement in film, an Oscar, for his portrayal of Richard Williams, Venus Williams and Serena Williams dad in the movie, King Richard.
Chris Rock, a well-known actor and comedian, made a joke about Jada Pinkett’s Smith shaved head. Her reaction appeared to be annoyance and discomfort. Soon after Rock’s joke, Will Smith ascended the steps of the stage and slapped Rock in the face before returning to his seat. Upon returning to his seat, Smith said twice to Rock, “Keep my wife’s “f…..ing name out of your mouth.” Moments later, Will Smith accepted the Academy Award for Best Actor.
What just happened? Unfortunately, this momentous occasion was marred by a “triggered trauma” from Smith’s childhood.
For years as a boy, Will watched his father physically abuse his mother and was helpless to protect her. He has carried this guilt for many years and his perceived failure to protect his mother has colored the lens through which he experiences life including marriage and fatherhood. According to Will, even in his marriage to Jada, he has worked to make her feel loved and protected partly to escape the helplessness that he felt to love and protect his mother as little boy.
What the viewing audience witnessed last night was not some madman who had come unhinged; it was a man who’s unresolved, childhood trauma was exposed for all he world to see. It was a man still affected by the pain and hurt that he experienced as a child. It was a man to whom many people can relate because we have felt that need to defend, protect or avenge.
In the seconds that it took for Will Smith to walk up the steps and slap Chris Rock’s face, his protective instincts to defend his wife, and in some way, avenge his mother’s abuse, had kicked in resulting in him hitting Rock. This pulled trigger explains how an otherwise non-violent man could unleash violence upon another.
Chris Rock was the unwitting target, as thought that he was simply making a joke, as he had done thousands of times before. He is a comedian after all. But by using Jada’s shaved head as the premise of the joke while she is suffering from alopecia, Will’s protective instincts went into overdrive.
By no means am I condoning violence or excusing Smith’s behavior, but I hope that the viewing public will choose to seek understanding and not make judgment. I hope that people will not take the lazy way out and simply consume sound bites, headlines, clips and memes. Smith’s public display of protection and his lack of self-control provides a teachable moment from which we can all learn.
On a cultural level, Smith’s offense offers an opportunity for us to consider the effects of multi-generational trauma and the importance of respect and intolerance for disrespect in the African American community.
Dr. Joy DeGruy, an internationally respected researcher and educator, helps people to understand the relationship between racism, trauma, violence and American chattel slavery. She is the founder of Be the Healing, President and CEO of Joy DeGruy Publications and the author of Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome: America’s Legacy of Enduring Injury and Healing.”
Dr. DeGruy shares many important insights on the important role of respect in the African American community particularly among African American adolescents. She shared, “For African American youth, debilitating experiences result in frustrations with the larger social system, mistreatment and marginalization of Blacks. These particular youth also resent the rejection of themselves and their families.”
As a boy, Will Smith was defenseless but as a man he is powerful and better able to protect those that he loves, especially the women that he loves. Of course, this power can and should be displayed in a multiplicity of non-violent ways.
I believe that unresolved trauma and feelings of disrespect are at the root of Will Smith’s reaction to Chris Rock’s comment. It wasn’t just a joke; t was a verbal assault on his wife and his comment was disrespectful.
This underlying feeling of disrespect is why a Black, male student might physically fight another student who has verbally assaulted his mom or his sister. This is also why a Black man might push another man who leered lustfully at his wife but never touched her.
The violent reaction is not right but knowing why someone reacts the way that they do can help us to address the cause of the behavior instead of simply responding to the behavior and dismissing the person as a problem and the reaction as unprovoked or excessive.
During a conversation following Will Smith’s award acceptance fellow actor, Denzel Washington said to Smith, “At your highest moment, be careful, that’s when the devil comes for you.” Washington’s advice is both appropriate and wise. If we are all honest with ourselves, we have had personal or private experiences in which an unresolved trauma from our past has triggered a seemingly overreactive response, but we felt completely justified.
Will Smith later apologized to the academy and to his fellow nominees which showed humility. Instead of judging or feeding the rumor mill, let us use this time to see the humanity in Will Smith and to reflect on our fragilities including our own unresolved trauma.
